Refeeding distresses me

48428895_587474168381904_1489074812314714112_n

I feel a few emotions at the moment, mainly despair and hopelessness, if I wasn’t feeling unwell the last week or so maybe recovery and weight gain wouldn’t be feeling so forced.

Seeing the nurse fill a styrofoam cup with frothy, thick resource supplement and then seeing it be put in the syringe before being connected to my NG tube really makes me distraught. I can feel it travelling through the tube and filling my stomach but I can’t taste it. It makes me unbearably full and it makes me feel disgusting.

Following feeds and meal times that I can manage I feel like my face is getting huger and huger. I fear weight gain but I fear feeling more unstable, more.. I guess there’s nothing I can do right now other than try and get through each day and maintain a healthy balance.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s