Some thoughts

NOTE: I wrote this last night, i’ve since been discharged

I know some people may be tired of my personal posts about my current situation but i hope in my venting that i may make someone, even one person feel less alone. I felt guilty and ashamed for 3 years now for having an eating disorder. Id force myself to eat during exam times when i was still at university, trying desperately to get enough energy. I called this recovery but now i know it was merely partial remission.

The more people i have spoken to since being open about my situation, the more I learn the mental battles many others have. Men and women all face it and mental health disorders don’t discriminate.

I could sob out of self pity that im currently not working and im instead in a hospital bed but i know this is not my fault nor is it a choice. None of us should feel guilty for the obstacles our mental or physical health places in front of us.

Stigma is a huge issue, this part of my life is something I felt ashamed about, something I felt I had to hide, but the more people who speak out, the more acceptable it is to speak out and the easier it becomes for a mentally ill people to be heard, receive treatment, fight the stigma – maybe one day it will save a life. We might have a mental illness, but mental illness doesn’t have us.

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